Andrea's History
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Let me list some of my
experiences...but before I do, let me say that I'm not
ashamed to tell what happened to
me, because
I didn't
do these things. I experienced them and
witnessed them.
Over
the past 13 years I've had to put my life on hold
because...
May 1997:
I opened
Author's Bed and Breakfast - for authors - in downtown
Toronto. I was also being paid to appear as a relationship
expert on Canada's Life Network. This was my dream come
true and my guest home was booked solid from Day One.
Heloise, the household tips columnist, even called me to
wish me well. Fewer than 4 months later, on August 20, I
had a home invasion (an intruder, a break-in) while guests
from Amsterdam and Avignon, France slept upstairs. I had to
close the business because the owner of the home I rented
for the B & B would not repair the broken window nor
provide alarm detection equipment. (After moving in I had
observed evidence that there had been an previous break-in:
a missing window upstairs that matched the newly broken
window which was likely used to replace the previously
broken one. Because I came face-to-face with the intruder,
I was able to identify him in court, and he was sent to
prison.
Because I had a guest booking in a few weeks' time and
didn't want to disappoint her, I relocated the business to
a more expensive home down the street I rented for $2500 a
month that was dirty and in need of repair. The owner would
not clean or fix any problems and I hired a lawyer to
either get the work done or refund my 3 month's deposit. On
Dec. 24 (Christmas Eve) I received a death threat from the
owner of the new home who had just been released
from
prison hours before. I called the
Toronto police and learned through his arresting officer
(of the sexual assault squad) that my landlord had
allegedly
violently
raped and savagely beaten two women... and
had keys
to the home I was living in. I asked police if he was
the one who had slit the throats of two other women found
months before. I was told they couldn't discuss it but that
I should get out of the house as quickly as possible, that
my life was more important than money. I left everything
behind and went into hiding for 8 years. Incidentally, the
guest for whom I kept the B & B open, had to cancel due
to the death of her little son. In hindsight, I should have
closed down the B & B permanently and taken the $500
loss... as it turned out I lost more than $10,000. I've
left out many details of this story; the whole story will
come to light in The Generosity Experiment.
Feb. 1998:
In fear for my
life and the lives of anyone around me, I had to stay out
of the public eye which meant I could no longer earn an
income from public speaking, appearing on TV or radio or
generate new business by giving interviews to members of
the press because that would mean giving out my address.
Because of the danger, I cut off communication with all my
clients and contacts (better they not know where I'd gone
so they wouldn't be harmed)... and all my client files and
testimonials had been left behind when I had to flee. So I
had to switch gears by abandoning the work I loved to
return to marketing authors and representing speakers. All
my promotion was online and my work conducted by email and
phone only. I lived an isolated life: I saw only one author
in 7 years, meeting her 30 miles from where I lived for
safety.
During those 7 years I had difficulty convincing new
clients to hire me. They couldn't trust someone who was
invisible, who didn't appear in public or in the media or
press, or promote herself, network, or appear at
conferences... and I had lost all client testimonials to
show. My income was barely sufficient to support myself -
often only $400 a month - in a mobile home I bought
second-hand. Sadly my neighbors and the management of the
park treated me with contempt and intimidation. I had asked
them to keep my identity and address secret to protect me.
They decided that my act of courage months before in
Toronto should be rewarded with a hate campaign and scare
tactics for all those years. One of my neighbors told me
that I deserved to die, as though he thought being a good
citizen was a criminal act. And the experience in Toronto -
4 months of death threats and intimidation and bullying by
my landlord and his thugs - left me with what must have
been post-traumatic stress syndrome. It took 3 years before
I could read a magazine article or listen to music - both
of which I loved - because the activities were too
stimulating for me.
April 4,
2005:
My dear cat Dickens - my first of three - died a painful
death leaving me depressed and guilt-ridden for months, and
the very next day I signed an agreement to sell my home at
less than half what I paid for it. I left Pennsylvania,
with my remaining two cats, to live in my cargo van.
May 6, 2005
I entered
Canada and because I had suffered a concussion the week
before thanks to an irresponsible person to whom I gave a
lot of my furniture, I rented an apartment in St.
Catharines Ontario, where I could rest and recover. I
wasn't treated very well by my landlady who was a real
estate agent. I had more than 60 tangible complaints that
she refused to acknowledge. I decided to buy a unit in the
building, and guess who was NOT my agent in the
transaction. Immediately upon moving in, I was the target
of a dangerous, mentally ill, alcoholic man who rented in
the building and had targeted the previous owners. He would
pester me night and day, and when I did pay him attention
he not only drew a loaded gun on me but waved a hunting
knife around my face and throat. His dog bit me twice - I
still have the torn coat - and nearly killed another
smaller dog. I learned later that other older, single women
in the building were also attacked; some new owners sold
their units at a loss less than a year after buying. I went
to 4 members of management for help and they not only told
me to keep my mouth shut and did nothing, but took punitive
measures against me! I started to promote the sale of my
three bedroom condo on my web site.
October 2006
I received
a Cease and Desist letter
from the
board saying that I was not permitted to own a web site
or online business where I sold my books while I lived
in my own unit in the building. I was also reprimanded
for advertising a small seminar in my home which I never
held, but one of the directors on the board was - at the
very same time - holding classes in her unit without any
problem! Incidentally, the Superintendent of the
building, hired by the board, held Pampered Chef sales
parties in her unit; and the previous owner of my unit,
who was on the board of directors, held candle sales
parties in her unit, but I wasn't allow to own a web
site outside of Canada (USA). Can you say "double
standard"? The board effectively took away my rights
under the constitution - freedom of peaceful assembly,
freedom of the press and media (I wrote and published
books!)
The other thing that I found disconcerting: the board
turned a blind eye to the illegal gambling, counterfeiting,
drug dealing, prostitution, and firearms sales going on
inside the building, but came down hard on me (a woman) for
writing books and owning a US web site.
To avoid further retaliation, I did curtail all
income-generating activities as they demanded and proceeded
to repaint and stage my home to avoid a short sale. I went
into credit card debt to the tune of $30,000 to be able to
keep paying the mortgage and condo fees ($1400 a month) and
pay other essential expenses until I could sell and get
out.
May 8, 2007
I had to put
my favorite cat to sleep who had been very sick. Losing
him, one of my only two pals in an unfriendly place,
affected me deeply.
May 30, 2008
I finally sold
the condo at a loss to neighbors down the hall, sold as
many of my belongings as I could, put the rest in storage,
and began living in my van, financially devastated, in
massive debt, and depressed.
June to September
2008 I
alternated between living in parking lots in my van with my
remaining cat and being invited to stay with people I'd met
on the Internet from Ontario and Pennsylvania to Virginia
and North Carolina until I'd overstayed my welcome. I
managed to generate some income by writing and editing for
authors. But nearly every woman who offered me a place to
stay either had a drinking problem or a serious mental
condition which meant a very chaotic, disruptive, and
unpleasant environment. Having accomodation meant that I
had to deal with filth, mess, sick cats, misplaced
hostility, and no privacy to work. In spite of what others
decided for us, Casper and I felt at peace staying in my
little van together.
Sept. 2008 to
present I returned to Erie -
moving everything from storage in Canada on my own to two
storage units and three apartments (five moves in 6 months)
because my 89 year old father was diagnosed with Alzheimers
and has been suffering intense back pain for months. I've
been taking him to several doctors to find relief for him,
administering meds, arranging, and accompanying him to,
hospital tests, etc. I did study for my real estate
license, but can't schedule the licesning exam or commit to
working for any local real estate agency because of Dad's
spur-of-the-moment needs multiple times a week.
I set up my web site (deleted two others) - this one
and HandyAnde.com - but haven't promoted
them due to constant distractions. My monthly income is
pathetically inadequate. As soon as this site is
complete, I'll send a news release to the press and
media... and be able to do live interviews for the first
time since 1997.
Where I live now is pleasant; my neighbors are friendly and
kind. However, there is an ex-family member in town who has
some major boundary issues who is trying to make my life
miserable (not just my life but those of anyone around her)
with her criticism and interference, but I've been setting
limits with her. I expect her behavior will get worse
before it gets better. But all in all, I've landed in a
place that is not complicated. I can't get any work here,
and so I am thinking that I'll be moving on in the
not-so-distant future. Perhaps back to Toronto, perhaps to
a warmer climate.
How my crisis services started...
In 1998, when I went into hiding, I
inherited the phone number of a private investigator who
had given up his practice for a better career move.
Suddenly I was receiving calls from upset individuals who
felt they needed surveillance services. I realized mostly
they needed someone to listen, someone to offer them
alternative ideas to try. None really wanted to pay up to
$20,000 for PI services. In fact, none offered to pay me
for up to an hour of my time that I spent with each of
them. I held this "volunteer" position for a year, until I
moved out of the telephone exchange and abandoned the phone
number. I consider it my apprenticeship.
I created CrisisBrainstorm.com in 2000
with the idea that I could offer a list of up to ten
solutions or answer to any personal challenge that is
causing extreme stress to an individual. But this time it's
a professional service and my sole source of income... so
that means I'm no longer a volunteer, however my fees are
reasonable compared to legal fees, and for the value you
receive in relief.
You can still hire me to
brainstorm solutions
to a problem or simply get
advice to your relationship issue. You can attend a
seminar, or order my
seminar
manuals or a
booklet that gives you lots of tips, ideas and
solutions. You can even purchase the entire
library
of my works. Your
group can book me to travel to your community to
address your group or conduct a seminar.
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